


i will hold your hand in this evil world

by wonhoon



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: M/M, idk if this is fluff or angst, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-17
Updated: 2016-05-17
Packaged: 2018-06-09 02:58:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6886678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wonhoon/pseuds/wonhoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"even if the world turn their backs against you, i will always love you."</p>
            </blockquote>





	i will hold your hand in this evil world

**Author's Note:**

> title from gfriend's rough
> 
> i may or may not have cried even more than wonwoo in this fic during the controversy, hence most scenes were written based on first-hand experiences
> 
> except i do not have a kim mingyu in my life /sobs/

_“you are such a burden”_

_“leave seventeen”_

_“you were never important anyway”_

_“such an immature and rude child”_

_“do the world a favour & go kill yourself”_

 

the comments he’ve read about his article following his handwritten apology letter swarmed around his head endlessly, consuming up his mind and slowly his sanity.

he didn’t mean to see all those — seungcheol-hyung had deliberately kept all electronic gadgets away, claiming that those were distracting the boys from their practices, which everyone knows is complete bullshit.

he tried not to care, he really did. he tried brushing those hurtful comments off like they were nothing, like they weren’t crushing and killing him off slowly on the inside. he acted like he wasn’t at all bothered during the day, keeping his cool with his signature straight face. he can’t worry the members any further, and he should stop being such a spoilsport, a _burden_ for once. as he progresses through the day, the thought of finally being under the comfort of his warm duvets and the serenity of darkness never appealed to him more.

 

an hour into lights out saw two figures curled up on two single beds separated by a common walkway in between, both bodies facing the wall. the only difference was that one was waiting to be transported to dreamland after a long day of schedules, and the other was waiting for his roommate’s light snores to fill the room so that he could finally let out all of his pent up emotions in the form of uncontrollable tears.

wonwoo didn’t realise that he’ve been holding his breath, until the snores that he was anticipating for finally reaches his ears that he lets out the air he’ve been keeping inside of him. he tried taking in deep breaths in hopes of calming down his palpitating, frantic heartbeat, but to no avail.

he stares at the white wall in front of him for some time, and before he could do anything about it, malicious comments about him starts flooding his mind again, this time at an alarming rate. he screws his eyes shut, trying with all his might to will them all out of his head, but the more he tries, the more implanted the thoughts were in his brain. unable to take the pressure any longer, he finally broke down in waves of hot fat tears, rolling down the corner of his face before landing on his pillowcase.

in fear of potentially waking up his roommate, he bit down on his lips while throwing a palm over to cover it, helplessly choking back on a sob, desperately hoping to be as quiet as possible. he can’t afford to let anyone find out about the mental and emotional state he is currently in, if not his efforts of putting up a strong front in the day would’ve all gone to waste.

just as when he was busy chastising himself in his head, it had totally slipped his mind that he’ve got to keep an ear out for his roommate’s snores, and that his sniffles must’ve gotten way too loud at some point, because right then someone had slid in beside him and gathered his shaking frame tightly into his warm embrace.

“i knew i can’t trust your stoic face at times.”

wonwoo jolted & stilled immediately at the touch, his brain registering the deep and husky voice as his one and only roommate, obviously still thick with sleep by how he drawled out purposefully at every syllable.

“i… *hic* i’m so *hic* sorry *hic* for worrying you… i thought *hic* you were *hic* asleep.”

by now, wonwoo was reduced to a mess of tears and snot running all over his face and was hiccupping really badly, and that was definitely not a sight he would like for anyone to see. not even his roommate-slash-bestfriend, kim mingyu.

“don’t ever say that, hyung. you of all people should know that i will always choose to stay by your side no matter what happens.”

wonwoo felt even worse with his words, he felt even more of a burden. it’s like his mind is slowly accepting the hateful comments, that he is indeed nothing more but a heavy burden to his wonderful teammates. his existence is only pulling them down with him, into the depths of hell he probably belonged to, according to the ruthless netizens.

wonwoo was about to let out another heart wrenching cry while wallowing endlessly in self-pity, before mingyu spoke again, voice easily cutting through his thoughts.

“I know what you’re thinking about, hyung. no, you are not a burden. at least not to me. and you never will be, you understand?” mingyu whispered gently, now rubbing comforting circles into wonwoo’s back.

mingyu waits patiently as wonwoo struggles to regain control over his breathing once again in order to come up with an intelligible response.

“i’m so scared, mingyu-ah. like one morning i just wake up to thousands, millions of people hating my guts, people who wants me dead over something i don’t even recall myself doing. it’s so sudden, so overwhelming, i’m so afraid and defenceless, it’s like there’s only me against the whole world.” a stray tear rolled down his right cheek as he sniffled against his sweater paw.

at this, mingyu tightened his hold on wonwoo like as if his life depended on it.

“hyung.” mingyu calls out defeatedly, “i have no idea where you got that idea from, but i’ll have to get you to throw it all away. it seems like you don’t know this yet, but that’s okay, because i’ll make sure to say it enough times that it will eventually get through that impossibly thick skull of yours one day.”

wonwoo could only have his eyes trained blankly on the wall, not knowing what to expect.

he took in a deep breath before continuing, “jeon wonwoo, i want you to know that even if the last person on Earth abandons you, i will never. i will never willingly choose anything over you, i will never leave you alone, i’ll always be that annoying puppy who clings onto you for dear life, because i cannot live without you, wonwoo… i can’t.”

wonwoo’s eyes widened in realisation, and turned over so fast in the other’s arms that the bed beneath them creaked under their weight. his locked his gaze with mingyu’s for a brief second, but before he could say anything, mingyu cut him to it.

“yes, i love you, hyung. i have actually, for a while now.. for.. five years..” mingyu’s glance wavered for a bit, “i get that this is probably the shittiest time i could ever pick to profess my dying love for you, but yeah, couldn’t have found a better opportunity.”

all wonwoo could manage to do was to stare like a gaping fish out of the water, unable to form words at the moment.

“i don’t expect you to accept or reciprocate my feelings immediately, especially not with so much going on right now. i just hope that you’ll finally see that you are not alone in this, and that in actual fact you never really were. regardless to when and where, as long as you need a shoulder to lean on, i will always be more than willing to provide you with solace, comfort and warmth. if you trust me, then let me walk with you through this difficult time, okay?”

wonwoo felt himself nod weakly against mingyu’s broad and sturdy chest, the arms tightening around him, pulling him impossibly closer, is providing him the security he needed so desperately to keep himself from falling apart. taking in the latter’s familiar scent, he felt himself slowly slipping into unconsciousness, exhaustion from the day finally catching up with him.

before his world turned completely dark, he could faintly hear the same baritone voice that he’ve found himself gotten so fond of over the years, “i love you so much, so please stay strong. i know we can overcome this together, because it’s now _us_ against the world.”

wonwoo could quite get used to the fact that his safe haven now comes in the form of kim mingyu.


End file.
